～ったら and ～ってば are technically the colloquial contractions of ～といったら and ～といえば respectively. Although they can be used solely as colloquial contractions of these patterns, they have also each evolved their own unique usages that we will primarily be learning about in this lesson.
As stated above, ～ったら can simply be used as a very colloquial contraction of ～といったら, as demonstrated in the following example sentences.
1. 俺が来いったら、来い！
When I say come, come!
2. カレーったらカレーだ！
Now this is curry!
3. うるさいったらうるさい！
God, you’re so annoying!
As can be deduced from these three examples, a lot of emotion is packed into this contraction, and it can be used in both positive and negative connotations. Ex. 1 even demonstrates how it can be used in a commanding manner.
～ったらない
The tone that can be seen in Ex. 2 can be expanded upon in the pattern ～ったらない. This can be viewed as a simplification of ～と言ったら他にない. Essentially, “there isn’t anything as…as” whatever is being discussed. Or, “it is impossible” for whatever you’re discussing to be “any more” like how you’re describing it because it is already so very “x.” Lastly, as far as its usage is concerned, it can go after nouns, adjectives, or verbs.
4. この子犬、可愛いったらない。
This puppy couldn’t be any cuter!
5. テキサス州の暑さといったらない。
The heat in Texas couldn’t get any hotter than this.
6. お袋の心配ったらなかった。
You can imagine how worried my mother was.
7. 日本語の曖昧さったらない。
Japanese couldn’t be vaguer.
8. このイワシ、臭さったらない
These sardines, they couldn’t smell any worse!
Spelling Note: イワシ is seldom spelled as 鰯. For those of you who notice 鰮 as an option when typing, this character is essentially not used in Japanese, but it does incidentally mean “small fish” in Chinese.
9. 今の時代、携帯やパソコンなどがないなら、不自由といったらない。
One couldn’t possibly be any more inconvenienced without having cellphones, PCs, etc. in this day in age.
10. みんなの前で転んで、恥ずかしいったらない。
There couldn’t be anything more embarrassing than tripping in front of everyone.
11. このところ、残業続きで疲れると言ったらない。
You can imagine how tired I’ve been from continued overtime recently.
12. 成人女性の着物姿の美しさったらない。
There’s nothing as beautiful as an adult woman in kimono.
～ったらありゃしない
An even more emphatic variation of this is ～ったらありゃしない. This is essentially only used with adjectives. As seen below, some variation in its appearance can be found. You can see the ったら part uncontracted as といったら, see ったら as ったりゃ, or see the りゃ part elongated as りゃあ.
13. 1ヶ月もお風呂に入らないのは汚いといったらありゃしない。
One couldn’t possibly be any filthier than when one hasn’t bathed in over a month.
14. 寒いったりゃありゃしない！
It couldn’t be possibly colder than this!
15. 羨ましいったりゃありゃしない。
I couldn’t possibly be more jealous.
Expressing Annoyance
As you can imagine, if it can be used in such a positive manner, it can be used in the exact opposite way. Whenever ったら is seen after proper nouns, you can express exasperating frustration.
16. 兄貴ったらまだ寝てるぞ。
Ugh, my big brother…he’s still sleeping.
17. 神田さんったら、よく言うよね。
Oh, Kanda-san, you say that a lot, don’t you.
18. 雅美ったら、無茶言わないで。
Ugh, Masami, don’t say something so absurd.
19. もう彼氏ったら･･･
Ugh, my boyfriend…
20.トランプ大統領ったら、就任1ヶ月で、じゃんじゃん大統領令をサインしているけど、その速さが怖い！
Gah, President Trump has been signing executive orders like crazy in his first month since being inaugurated, but it’s the speed of that which is scary!
21. 自衛隊ったら、本当にお堅いんだなあ。
The Self Defense Force is so uptight.
As stated in the introduction, at its basic understanding, ～ってば can be viewed as a very colloquial contraction of ～といえば.
22. 暇ってば暇でしょう。
When talking about free time, it (should be) free time, you know.
23. ブドウってばフランス産がいいなぁ。
Speaking of grapes, ones made-in-France are really good.
24. この和菓子ってば、ぴったりだね。
Speaking of this wagashi, it’s perfect, huh.
25. 海ってば、昨日までずいぶん荒れてたね。
Speaking of the sea, it was pretty rough until yesterday, huh.
Similarly to ～ったら but with far more anger behind it, ～ってば can be used to sharply criticize. It is a great way to indicate annoyance or giving a sharp command by expressing your annoyance.
26. 辰己ってば！
Gah, Tatsumi!!!
27. 違うってば！
I said it’s wrong!
28. 早く持ってきなさいってば！
I told you to hurry and bring it!
29. 要らないってば、要らない！
When I say it’s not needed, it’s not needed!
30. ヤダったらヤダってば！
When I say no, I mean no!